Legolas Goes Hunting
by Angelchick007
Summary: Just a little funniness that I wrote in school. This is what would happen if Legolas went hunting and Laura appeared. So renjoy and Review.


A/N Short little thing I wrote in class when we watched a hunting movie.  Don't ask.

Legolas Goes Hunting

            The mist rose in the valley centered between the Misty Mountains. A valley in which no one knew about but a certain blonde Mirkwood Elf who shots a bow oh so well and whose name I shall not name-Legolas. And one day our hero decided that he needed to go hunting. For he was tired of Boromir bragging about the 10-point he bagged a few days ago.

            So he left Rivendell, where the Fellowship was taking a break from their hard journey, equipped with everything he would need. His bow and quiver full of arrows was on his back, he was dressed in the Elven form of camo, and his face was sparsely covered with camo face paint, for this elf did not want to dirty his face. Vain isn't he?

            So there he was standing silently by a tree, waiting for the "perfect" buck. Then he heard a twig snap. His heart raced and the arrow was notched and ready to fly, this one the one he thought with glee. The perfect 20 point buck of his dreams. The one that would put the pin cushion Boromir to shame.

            He got ready to shoot as the source of the noise came into view.

            "LEGOLAS! IT IS YOU!" yelled Laura as she stepped out.

            And for a moment, Legolas thought of shooting her, for surely no one would miss her. But he lowered his bow as she pranced over to him, making enough noise to awaken Sauron if he was indeed dead.

            Laura was every hunter's nightmare. Her clothes were, imagine this with me, LIME GREEN! She started to jabber about school and dates and such nonsense. She was stomping around like a Ent, if they did stomp cause I haven't seen or read The Two Towers yet. Legolas would be surprised if he got to shoot even a rabbit today.

            "So what ya doin?" she asked.

            He groaned, "Waiting for something."

            "What?"

            "Something"

            "What?"

            "Not telling you."

            "LEGOLAS! Pleassssssssse tell meeeeeee!" she whined.

            And at that he snapped a little. She was going to drive him crazy, "A deer. I came out here to shoot a deer. I am deer hunting."

            "But why?" she asked, looking all sweet and innocent.

            "I don't know, you're the one writing this you tell me."  

            She grinned, "Because a lot of girls want to see your hotness when you shoot your bow. And we are watching a hunting video in class. And I was bored."

            "That's nice." He said absently, scanning the area for a deer, "Now hush so I can hunt." 

            And Laura shut up. And they sat there in silence for several hours waiting for a deer. Can you believe Laura could sit quiet for several hours? Neither can I and I am writing this. Heck I am Laura. Go figure.

            That's when it happened. Buck of out Elf boi's dreams stepped into the clearing. He was tall and stood proud. If he was 10 points he was 20. Well actually he was the lucky 13 point. And he was within range of our hero's sexy arrows. And he was PERFECT! Can I stress that enough? PERFECT!

            Silently Legolas raised his bow and took aim. Laura watched him silently. And just as he was ready to loosen his bow and take down the buck that he would rub in Boromir's face, Laura could no longer stay silent.

            "What are you doing?" she whispered.

            Legolas jolted, almost losing his arrow-Wait…Legolas the Perfect Shot lose an arrow? I can't believe I wrote that…-at the sudden sound.

            He shot her a glare, "Killing a deer?"

            "Your going to kill it?"

            "Oh no. I am just have this bow with a arrow in it and a PERFECT deer standing in front of me so I can invite him to the Council of Elrond." hissed Legolas.

            Laura nodded, "Yeah, its always good to have animal reprenstation at those kind of meetings."

            "You idiot, I'm going to shoot him."

            "Why?"

            "Because I can."

            "Why?"

            "So I can rub it in Boromir's face."

            "Why?"

            "Because its fun."

            "Why?"

            "YOUR WRITING THIS MADNESS YOU TELL ME WHY!" he yelled loosing his temper. For some reason Laura was annoying more than usual. Maybe it was all those "why"s. That always ignores me, I mean Laura, I mean us. So several things happened at that.

            The deer ran at Legolas outburst. Laura giggled madly. Legolas face fell and he started to grin sadistically like he was was taken over by the One Ring. He turned to Laura, aiming the arrow at her. Laura stopped laughing.

            "You. Are. Going. On. My. Wall." Gritted Legolas, determined to have at least one trophy on his wall.

            "Uh….." said Laura, taking one look at the mad elf and the arrow and took off running. And naturally Legolas ran after her, chasing her and yelling something about how mortal girls from other lands would make the perfect trophy on the wall of the Elven archer who had everything especially when she cost him the PERFECT buck.

A/N: Yes I am insane. Deal with it. Typed this in school too.


End file.
